WANT SOME HUMOUR FOR 2007

cHere are some home treatments for you experts

Home Remedies:

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of
boiling water down your throat to clear the blockage instantly.

2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting
someone else to hold them while you chop away.

3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply
using the sink.

4. High blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for
awhile, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you
from rolling over back to sleep once you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you
will be afraid to cough.

7. Have a bad tooth ache? Hit your thumb with a hammer, then you will
forget about the tooth ache.

Sometimes we just need to remember what "The Rules of Life" really are:

1. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it
should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn't, use the duct tape.

2. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on
the same night.

3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness".

4. Never lick a steak knife.

5. When life hands you lemons, grab the tequila and the salt!

6. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

7. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person.

8. Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are
going to need them to empty your bedpan.